St Patty's Day
by djlee6
Summary: Keef/Zim one-sided ONESHOT Keef decides to use the holiday to teach Zim a little about humans...and maybe a little bit about Irkens. Rated M for safety reasons


It is st. patrick's day...

and though I wont be able to post this until after st. patty's day, I felt an urge to write this

so enjoy~

ooooooooooooooo

Normal POV

It was a party to remember. Normally people in this city didn't get along- even denounced one another- but once you put on the loud and popular music everyone could sing to word for word and add some alcohol, confetti and free food...well, somehow it just brought people together.

Go figure, right?

But the reason for everyone's sudden comradery wasn't so obvious to a certain green-skinned alien sitting and observing the commotion that happened to be taking place in his culvasac. Originally he had stepped out in his yard to put up a border around the front of his house, making it so no one in a drunken stupor could vomit all over his yard or fall asleep on his front step. Now, though, he was standing in the safety of his yard, looking past his fence post, to the mass that had gathered.

Everyone was dressed in green of various shades, some wearing rediculous hats and glasses, gaudy necklaces and other horridly unappealing accessories. Most also had a beer in their hand and were falling over eachother, huddled masses clinging to their fellow humans in their hazed state. No one seemed to care about the people asleep in yards and on top of car hoods, or about the beer falling on their clothes, or the food that seemed to be puked up within the hour. There was a rare human that didn't seem intoxicated and running around taking pictures or something of that sort, but they flitted back and forth so fast, Zim could never keep an eye on them.

He hummed in thought as he watched on. It was such an odd display...So much laughing and drunken thrown fists...The loud music and the overwhelming color of green...That was the thing that confused Zim the most. Didn't this planet have enough damn green on it? Did they all have to wear it? And why now, all of a sudden? Even in classes that day, Zim had been confused by all the little plant symbols and green streamers. Everyone kept laughing as they pinched people not wearing the color. Zim was just lucky he hadn't had to put up with it. Evidently his skin color had saved him for once. He would have gloated to Dib about how he was superior, but he was too lost on why even the Dib- who didn't have anything in common with the other meat-creatures-traded in his typical trenchcoat and such for a long sleeve light shirt covered by a dark green t-shirt.

Zim frowned at the memory. He wanted to ask about it to someone but he hated asking Dib anything and he didn't want to draw suspicion from anyone else.

"Ziiiimm~!"

Zim jumped a bit at the sound of his name being shouted and became even more on edge when a blur of orange and green came towards him, his fence saving him by making the thing slump over, laughing.

His shoulders slumped almost instantly when he realized what the blur was. "Keef..."

Said teen meat bag stood from his slumped position and gave Zim that ever stupid grin. "Hey, buddy! I was hoping I'd find you joining the party!" Unlike Zim, Keef had changed quite a bit. He'd grown more masculine-despite his obvious desire for the same sex-and had gotten more facial hair when grew all along his now strong jaw line. Zim had to give him points though...He liked that Keef kept his fur tamed, unlike the other horrid monkeys with facial hair... Currently he noticed that Keef had a bright green long sleeve shirt that fitted to his muscular form,a sparkling and large green bow latched around his neck and a green mock-top hat on his head. He had dark washed fitted jeans-though not skinny. Zim always thought it was so strange that Keef tried so hard with his appearance when other humans seemed to not care much at all.

"I am not joining any festivities. Now get off my fence,"

Keef moved so he wasn't touching Zim's fence, but still stayed in close proximity, enough that Zim could smell the faint hint of alcohol on him but noted that he wasn't seeped in it. "Why aren't you partying with everyone?"

"Because I have no desire to," Zim replied, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. He hated it when people asked him why he didn't want to be around them. He looked past Keef again to the horrid mass of people. "What are they doing, anyway? Being loud and disgusting at such an hour?" Not that Zim needed to sleep, but he knew humans needed to.

"It's St. Patrick's day, silly!" Keef replied, grinning. "Haven't you ever celebrated it?"

"No...Would I be correct in assuming this is another holiday like your Christmas or Easter?"

"Yeah, but a little different," Keef said. "Mainly this is a holiday for...partying!"

"I can see that," Zim's voice was seeping with displeasure. "Intoxication for already feeble little brains. Loud and obnoxious, too..."

"Well, it might be quieter inside," Keef suggested innocently. "I mean...standing out in the yard, you kinda get the full force,"

"I just needed to set up a more secure border around my home before retiring for the evening," Zim replied cooly. "Enjoy your festivities, Keef," He turned and strode towards the front door, his hips giving a small sway all their own as they always did.

Keef, however, always noticed. Expecially now, when there was no need to rush off to another class or to swim practice. He bit his lower lip, grinning as he looked on shamelessly. "Damn..."

Zim with his ever excellent hearing (even with his lekku covered) picked up on it and he turned on his heel, glaring at the redhead. "Excuse me? What was that?"

Keef's eyes snapped up from Zim's rear (now out of sight anyway) and locked his eyes with Zim's. "I...just was admiring your...confident walk," he forced out. He always had to be careful what he said around Zim, but he did know that Zim took a lot of pride in his appearance. And Keef had no problem giving a compliment to his beloved Zim. Even if he was too scared to tell Zim what he really thought of him.

Zim,ever clueless, quickly picked up the compliment. "Oh?" Even Dib could confirm that if Irkens had one weakness aside from snacks, it was flattery.

Keef, confident, smiled up at the green-skinned beauty. "Yeah. I mean, you have a wonderful stride. And your posture is amazing,"

A small hint of blue touched Zim's cheeks. Still, he held his head high, hoping Keef wouldn't notice it. Of course...he did... "Well...thank you. I suppose the alcohol hasn't made you so stupid as to not recognize my superiority,"

"I actaully haven't had anything to drink," Keef replied honestly. "I was passing some out for a while and got some spilled on me," he pulled at his green shirt a bit in gesture. Zim didn't see anything, but he didn't doubt it had happened. "But...ya know, even if I did, no amount of booze could make me not be able to see how...how, uh..." Keef stumbled as he tried to find the right word. He didn't want Zim to fly off the handle, after all.

"...How, what, Keef? At least compose a complete thought before speaking," Zim huffed, rolling his eyes and placing his hands on his hips. In truth, he really just wanted to hear what Keef had to say. Since he was no longer trying to conquer Earth, he had been really bored, and Keef's compliments and Dib's rude comments were the highlights of his days.

"Well, ya know...just...you,"

"...Me?" That had to be the lamest compliment Zim had ever received.

"Yeah, you," Keef shrugged, his cheeks reddening with embarrassment. "You're just...Zim. Ya know, you're incredible and you're...funny and...smart and..."

"...And?" Zim gently pressed, wanting to hear more.

"...Beautiful," Keef stated finally. He had looked off somewhere, not wanting to risk seeing the look of disgust that could be on Zim's face. He had a crush on Zim for years and held back saying anything really intimate. Even if everyone else had teased him openly at school, Zim never seemed to pay it mind. He figured Zim just thought it was a joke. He didn't think that Zim really had no idea what they were talking about.

Zim's blush deepened as he heard the word. "...Beautiful?" It slipped past his lips quietly, but Keef heard it.

Green eyes looked up, seeing that Zim's hands slipped from his hips, a look of shock and awe written on mint features. Keef smiled brightly again. "Yeah, of course,"

Zim quickly looked off so his fake violet eyes didn't lock with Keef's a second time. Keef had given him a lot of attention over the years-all of which he enjoyed very much despite making a fuss-but...the readhead never used that word... "You've...never called me that before," Zim pointed out, his voice softer than Keef had ever heard it.

"No...I thought you'd be upset," Keef admitted.

"Why?"

Keef looked around nervously, finally noticing again the loud music and mass of people around. "Um...It's kinda private...Can I...maybe come inside? To talk to you about it? You can kick me out afterward," Keef assured. He knew Zim loved his space.

Zim was about to snap a snide remark, but when he saw the look Keef was giving him. It wasn't plotting or anything...It was honest and true... Finally, he nodded. "If you can get over the barrier I put up to keep those slobs out, then...you may come into my home,"

Keef grinned like an idiot before leaping over the small fence addition and practically sprinted to the front door just as Zim was opening it and welcoming him inside. "Gee, thanks, buddy! Been years since I've been in here,"

"I know," Zim commented. He felt a little on edge now that Keef was actually in his home but made a point to keep his composure. "You may sit down,"

"Right...Cool," Keef took a seat on the ever plush and comfortable couch, patting the seat beside him. He was estatic when Zim accepted it and sat with one leg swung over the other, his arms crossed over his chest again. "Why do you always move like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like someone's gunna attack you," Keef explained. "This is your home. I already told you you can throw me out whenever. I'm not gunna do anything,"

"I know that!" Zim snapped, blushing.

"Then relax a little," Keef laughed. "You make me nervous sitting like that,"

Reluctantly, Zim uncrossed his arms, settling his hand in his lap. He did, however, keep his legs as they were, his violet eyes watching Keef to be sure the human didn't try anything. "Better?"

"Yeah," Keef ran his hands over his thighs, back and forth, letting out a breath in slight panic. "Um...so..."

"..You wanted to tell me something?" Zim pressed.

"Yeah...um...First, you have to promise me that you won't try to like...attack me or something and claim it was self-defense," It had meant to be a joke, but Keef found the longer he was under Zim's unyeilding stare, the more he meant it.

Zim rolled his eyes the second time that night. "Fine."

Keef nodded, more to reassure himself. "Alright...so...There's a reason that I...never said...ya know, that word to describe you before. At least not out loud..." He locked his eyes with Zim's, seeing that the violet eyes watching him weren't gaurded like before. Just...patient. Giving a soft smile, Keef continued. "But it really is how I think of you. And not just physically. I mean everything. See...um...Remember that day we hung out and all that stuff? You made me your best friend,"

"I remember,"

"It didn't last long to you, but...I've always still thought of you as my best friend. Even before that...I thought you were really cool,"

"...Cool?"

"Yeah...Maybe it was because you were new or because...you were different...But then when I got to know you, it was way more than that," Hesitantly, Keef reached over to Zim's lap and placed a hand over both of Zim's, making the other jump a bit. He took it as a good sign when Zim didn't retaliate and kept talking. "You were...sweet. Even though you put up this tough front..." He frowned then. "Why do you do that, anyway?"

"Do what?"

"Act like you're colder than you really are,"

"My temperature is fine,"

Keef let out a soft laugh. "No, I mean...why do you act like your tough and mean when you're not?"

"I'm not acting," Zim replied, glaring. "I'm cruel and I destroy things. I enjoy creating chaos,"

"There are plenty of good things that are chaotic. It's not all...evil,"

"Like what?"

"Like...Like that!" Keef stood suddenly, going to the window and gesturing outside. "See! It's absolute chaos out there! But for the most part...people are happy. Things aren't being blown up...No one's getting killed...Maybe punched or something but...It's all more in the name of good fun," He looked back to Zim, seeing the Irken giving a thoughtful look out the window to the party. "Can't you be more a part of that kind of chaos?"

"...I don't enjoy being around such large groups of people. So this...'partying'...is out of the question,"

"It's not just partying that's good chaos," Keef moved back to kneel down in front of Zim, making the Irken instinctively back up more into the couch. Keef gave a reassuring smile and reached to place both of his hands over Zim's, pulling the gloved hands from his lap. "It's...a lot of things. Like...love. Love is absolute chaos,"

"You mean that mush affection that makes people give raw meat to eachother?" Zim questioned snidely.

"Not the kinda meat I had in mind..." Keef muttered.

"What?"

"Ah...Nothing...Just...It's harder than it looks. Haven't you ever been in love?"

"Not that I recall," Zim shrugged. "But I don't really know,"

Keef frowned at that. "You don't know?"

"In my...culture, you're devoted to your leaders. That's it," It was the most Zim could say without letting slip that he was an alien.

"Oh..." Keef sighed, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, letting his grip fall away from Zim's hands. "I was...kinda hoping for a different answer,"

"I can't help what you wanted to hear," Zim replied, unfeeling to Keef's nerves, though he was aware of it.

"I know, but..." Keef looked back to Zim, taking off his hat and setting in on the couch beside the Irken. "Haven't you ever thought of someone as...being your entire world? Like...thinking about them puts a smile on your face...?"

Zim's interest peaked. "What do you mean?"

"They mean everything to you. If they hurt, you hurt. If they laugh, you laugh. If they love you, then...you feel like you have everything you'll ever need,"

Zim's non-existant brow furrowed in thought. Had he felt that way about anyone? He couldn't recall...It seemed so familiar...

Keef noticed the way Zim became lost in thought. "Zim? Buddy?" Maybe he hit a cord. Maybe Zim was just a little ignorant because of his culture...

Zim snapped from his thoughts, shaking his head. "No. No, Zim has never had the need for anyone other than his leaders," A nagging came from inside, though, protesting; saying he was a liar. He tried to ignore it, so caught up in his own thoughts that he missed Keef's disappointed expression.

"Zim..." He sighed before forcing a small smile on his lips. He reached over to place his hand on Zim's again, making those suspicous eyes lock with his own again. "I think you have. You just don't realize it yet," Before Zim could protest, Keef lifted the Irken's hand to place a small kiss on the gloved skin. "And I promise I'll find a way to make you remember,"

Zim looked at the human with wide eyes, a heat rising along his face. This rapid thrumming in his chest... Was this the good chaos Keef spoke of?

_Maybe this human holiday... isn't so unpleasant after all..._

ooooooooooooooo

arg omg i started that SOOOOOO long ago!

plz review!


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